Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Happiness and Peace of Mind

"Be happy with what you've got while you pursue what you want."
        -Jim Rohn


As I sat down today, reflecting and pondering what I should share, my mind was filled with thoughts on the subjects of happiness and peace of mind.

In his address on Happiness as an Art, Jim Rohn makes the illustrative comparison between happiness and a beautiful tapestry. Both must be carefully woven. Both take a concentrated effort. Most importantly, both are created by the individual.

You control your happiness just as you control your breathing. If you are not thinking about breathing, it just happens automatically. Our subconscious takes over. When you concentrate on deep, controlled breathing, however, you teach your body the habit, and it becomes your natural breathing rhythm. The same is true for happiness. Right now, you may have a tendency to be impatient, quick to anger, or feel depressed. With concentrated effort, you can change that.

Take the time to focus on yourself. Think of your good qualities, expound on them. Write them down in a journal. Write down what makes you happy. Truly happy. Now make a plan to control your happiness.

Happiness is a daily effort, but it gets easier. Just as I mentioned before, we can train our bodies to breathe deeper, more calmly, and more efficiently by making a daily habit of practicing that skill. So too, is the practice of finding happiness. Regardless of our circumstances, we can master our mind and thoughts.

You cannot simply hope to be happy, you plan for it. You practice it, study it, and master it.

James Allen said "Self-control is strength, right thought is mastery, calmness is power."

That leads me to peace of mind. To me, peace of mind means having complete confidence that my life is where it needs to be. I am heading in the right direction. I am growing. I am learning. I am happy, healthy, and prosperous. Prosperity does not just mean "become a millionaire", you can be truly happy without being wealthy, and you can be prosperous in many ways.

A serene life is more precious than gold. Just like gold is the result of time, heat, and pressure, serenity is the result of a long focused effort, especially through trying times. After all, if we only have inner peace when life is easy, then we are not in control of our minds, but letting the world dictate or thoughts.

Be the master of your mind and be Happy, Healthy, Prosperous.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Laugh! Even When Life Isn't Funny

"Passion is no laughing matter, but I have never met a truly passionate person who didn't love to laugh"
   -Zig Ziglar

Laughter Heals the Mind and Body

Norman Cousins, recipient of nearly 50 honorary doctorate degrees, discovered the healing power of laughter after being diagnosed with a deadly illness. It was 1964 when Norman returned home from a business trip and fell ill. Ankylosing spondylitis was the diagnosis, and the doctors said he had only months to live.

Norman took it upon himself to research his illness to the fullest. He concluded that his high stress job had triggered his illness, and the antidote must be the opposite, that is, positive emotion. He moved into a room in the hotel across the street from the hospital and began "treatment" armed with a film projector, and hours of comedy film. As laughter filled his room, the pain of his disease faded. He claimed that only 10 minutes of gut busting laughter would give him two hours of pain free sleep. Even morphine prescribed by the doctors had failed to be that effective. Bed-ridden, Norman continued his therapy until he was back on his feet, 6 months later. Then he carried on the treatment and was able to return to his full time job within two years. The scientific community was astounded. His case inspired numerous research projects. Norman himself wrote a book An Anatomy of an Illness.

What an inspiring story! Norman Cousins harnessed the healing power of laughter and defied the odds.

Now, I am not prescribing laughter as medication for whatever ails you. I do, however, believe that laughter, and adopting a positive attitude in general, strengthens us mentally, emotionally, and physically. In times of adversity, laughter is especially effective in relieving stress and lightening the burdens we carry.

Learn to be the master of your mind. Work to control your emotions. Laugh at the world. Laugh at yourself. This is a skill that must be learned, and practiced daily. Mentally and emotionally strong people can inspire you, support you, and guide you in many aspects of your life, but there comes a time when you must become mentally strong unto yourself.

Anxiety and depression, diseases of the mind, cause so much suffering today. James Allen in As a Man Thinketh, teaches that any suffering is a direct result of wrong thought, that we suffer because we are out of alignment in our own minds. The healing, then, should begin within. There are cases where outside help is necessary, but so much healing can take place when we learn to be mentally strong.

Laugh at Your Failures

"Failure is an event, not a person."
       -Zig Ziglar

Louis (Louie) Zamperini, subject of the film Unbroken, failed many times before becoming an olympic runner. In fact, before he started running, his life was off the rails. He had an uncontrollable temper, he was constantly in trouble for theft, and had very few friends. His brother Pete convinced him to join the track team where Pete, a star athlete, could train Louie and keep an eye on him. In the beginning, Louie was slow, and a childhood bout with pneumonia left him with limited lung capacity. Pete kept training his brother. Soon, Louie started making great improvements. He trained harder and harder. By the end of his freshman year of high school, he raced and placed 5th in the All-City meet, running the 600 meter dash. He kept going. In his final three years of high school, Louie Zamperini was undefeated in competition, breaking school, state, and national records along the way.

The best and most talented among us have failed, still fail, and will continue to fail. The difference is mental toughness. They keep moving and, eventually, succeed.

Often, success lies just beyond failure.

Laugh at your failures, because we all have them, and they only last a moment.

Happy, Healthy, Prosperous

Sunday, January 8, 2017

How to Love a Job You Hate

Why are we so bent on hating our jobs? The fact is that very few people will say that they are happy in their current job. Why is that the case? Do we really hate the job that much?

I have never met anyone who always had a job doing the one thing that he/she loved doing. I have, however, met people who find ways to love every job that they have.

Why is it, then, that so few people have positive things to say about their jobs?

Here is one observation I have made in my own life and the lives of those around me, and I believe if we fix this one problem, we will all feel much better about where we spend 8 hours of our day.

Negative talk and thoughts are to blame for our negative perception of our jobs.

Humans naturally want to bond with the people around them. In the workplace, at school, at home. We need to feel connected to people. When we are with people we don't know, we look for ways to initiate conversation and start a friendship, even if it is just for the short ride on the bus or waiting in line at the grocery store. Unfortunately, the majority of us fall into the habit of focusing on the negative.

"It's so hot outside isn't it?"

"Yes its terrible!"

"This line is moving so slow!"

And in the workplace, its even worse. Think of the conversations you have with your coworkers on a daily basis.

"I hate Mondays!" or "I can't wait until the weekend" or "The boss is a jerk!"

We resort to these ways of talking because its easy conversation, and we begin to bond with those around us. I know this because I live it every day. It is so easy to fall into the trap of negative talk because we think its normal to hate your job. IT IS NOT NORMAL! You should not spend 40 or more hours a week in a place where you do not feel comfortable, appreciated, and valued.

As I mentioned in a previous blog, The Fire Within, I found myself at a point where I had to change jobs. I was miserable. It got to the point where there was more negative than positive in my life. If you feel that way, you should make a change!

On the other hand, I sincerely believe that most of us can enjoy the work we do if we change our habits of negativity. Our minds are gardens. Every thought is a seed that sprouts and influences our words and actions. Our words and actions change our environment. Therefore, when we see a problem in our environment, the first solution would be to change our thoughts. Cultivate only the good. Let the positive grow, weed out the negative.

Be master of your mind. Loving your job does not mean that you are happy all the time.

Tony Romo, a professional football player, was recently replaced as starting quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. In a press conference he stated that he still felt the fire for the game and the desire to play. Do you think he is having a good time right now? Of course he isn't! But he still loves what he does, and will do whatever it takes to be successful.

We will have bad days. We will fall. Grow tired. Fail on a project. Get sick. And any number of variables that will ruin a day. But if we cultivate the garden of our minds, and entertain only positive thoughts, give root to only good, then the negative will be short-lived and meaningless.

I encourage you to read "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen. It is an incredible insight into the influence of your thoughts on your entire life. My favorite quote so far (I haven't finished the reading yet) reads
"A man is literally what he thinks; his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts"

Allow only enough space in the garden of your mind for good. Your outlook on life will change the instant you adopt this practice. I can say that because it happens to me each time I choose the positive over the negative. It is a conscious effort, difficult, but well worth it.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Take Time to Watch the Paint Dry

"Take time to watch the paint dry"

A teacher and mentor said that to me when I was preparing to leave to South America as a missionary. He talked often about the importance of studying, both scriptural and other types of studies. This day, however, he emphasized the effect of silent meditation on the mind, heart, and soul.

In silence we allow ourselves to:

  • Reflect
  • Ponder
  • Plan
  • Feel
  • Listen to the soul
In reflection, you draw into focus lessons you have learned that day.
Pondering, or thinking deeply and carefully, you determine the value and significance of each event.
You plan your life according to these lessons and experiences.
You feel yourself grow, you feel the world around you, you simply feel.
You listen to the yearnings of your soul. The noise of the world drowns out the tiny, gentle voice of the soul, but in silence, it speaks and you listen.

John Maxwell said it best, "Experience is only a great teacher if you take the time to pause and reflect on it. Otherwise, you take the test but the lesson never comes."

Take time each day for reflection, meditation, and planning. You will find your goals become clearer, your mind more focused, and the stress of your daily life will fade away.

Saturday, December 31, 2016

The Fire Within

"The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire"
                     - Ferdinand Foch

What do you think of when you look at a fire?

For me, I think of warmth, energy, and comfort.

Now, how does that translate to an inner fire, or as Ferdinand Foch said, a "soul on fire"?

Think of an activity or occurrence in your life that started a fire in you. I will give you an example. I found my fire through a combination of two things: serving as a missionary for my church, and being an assistant coach for a local high school football team. I learned that I loved teaching people and watching them grow. As a missionary I focused on spiritual teaching. As a coach I taught skills, strategies, and the mindset necessary for success on the field. In each situation I found myself in awe every time I witnessed the moment of comprehension. That moment when whatever I was teaching finally sunk in and made an impact.

Even though I felt that fire for teaching, I did not take steps to make it a recurring activity in my life.

Rewind a few years. My lovely wife, Alyssa, and I had just gotten married. We were young, in love, and excited for our future. My wife was in school, and preparing to apply for nursing school. I was working as a carpet cleaner, but planned to finish school with a business degree and start a small business. I soon discovered, as did Alyssa, that we were not passionate about either decision. Alyssa quickly had made a new plan, and is still sticking with it. She has always inspired me in that way! My heart, however, was not so easily tied down. I dreamed and dreamed, charged career decisions, and redefined my goals nearly as often as I changed my socks! I could not make up my mind.

My inability to make up my mind had terrible consequences. I fell into a depression. I no longer saw value in myself. I did not believe I could make a decision and follow through. What a terrible thought! I doubted my potential to be successful in any career, doubted my potential to be a good husband, and I just wanted to give up trying.

I fell so deep into depression that I could hardly get out of bed in the morning. When I would get to work, I would pull into the parking lot, sit in the van, and cry until I could muster up the courage to continue my day. I needed a change!

I sat down with my wife, we talked, cried together, and laid out a plan. For me, the solution was to change jobs and seek help. The job change was relatively painless, and I found loving support from my family, friends, and church community. Ultimately, I found great inspiration in books. Zig Ziglar and John C. Maxwell were the first authors whose words showed me a new way of thinking. For the first time in years, I started seeing life in a positive light. More importantly, I again saw value in myself! It felt as if the books "Better than Good" by Zig Ziglar, and John Maxwell's "The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth" were sent to me straight from heaven. Their inspiring words, combined with my love for teaching, is what inspired me to start this TrueYou project. I believe that everyone can unlock the same passion and fire that great leaders unlocked in me.

I also believe that the only thing holding many of us back from lighting the fire within are words of encouragement, and a plan. (Spoiler alert, I LOVE plans)

In order to make your passion a part of your daily life, you must first identify it. It is important to remember that I am not talking strictly about careers here. While for many, it is possible to turn your passion into a living, I believe everybody can love what they do for work, even if it isn't their number one passion. For some people, turning your passion into a job makes it unappealing. For example, my wife likes to do eyelash extensions for her family and some friends. She enjoys the company, the process, and the lovely results of a job well done. Making that her full time job would, for her, take all the fun out of it. She loves it for the fun, not the money, so she dedicates enough time to enjoy it, but not too much that she gets tired of it. What I am asking from you is to find something that adds value to your life in some way. Find it and hold on to it! It may be one single activity, or multiple. Whatever the number is, identify them. Identify why they bring you joy. Now make a plan to include these in your daily life. Whether it be carpentry, baking, or even both.

Now that you have identified what lights the fire in you, it is time for a plan. Ask yourself some questions.

Do I plan to make a career out of this? Am I willing to make the sacrifices necessary to make it a reality? How will I do it?

The hardest questions yield the most honest answers.

Your first step should be to find resources. Find people who do what you want to do, read books on the subject, find online sources. This will show you the way.

If you do not plan to make a career out of your passion (many don't) then you need to set some goals and boundaries for your newly discovered Fire Project (that's what we'll call it). If you love music but haven't quite mastered your instrument, or even begun learning, set a goal. Practice every day, or 4 times a week. Set your goal and stick to it. If you, like me, have a passion for coaching, or any number of seasonal activities, what will you do in the off season? Consider this. Take a few days each week (make a plan and stick to it) to develop leadership skills and your understanding of the game. This will make you an invaluable addition to any staff.

Also, set boundaries for your project. For example: a man who neglects to spend free time with his children because he chooses to spend it mountain biking (an otherwise admirable activity) has totally missed the point. He should instead find a balance. Your Fire Project should add value to you! If you are a father, it should make you a better father. Selfish activities, or activities without proper boundaries, should be cut right out of the picture. If it harms your relationship with others, you should reconsider. Find the balance. Enhance yourself. Once you start, you will be amazed at your feeling of accomplishment, growth, and satisfaction. And like a fire, as long as you feed it, those feelings will grow ever more!

Please share in the comments your Fire Project, the thing you do that brings you joy every day. For me, it is this TrueYou project.

"In everyone's life, at sometime, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."
                       -Albert Schweitzer

If you have trouble lighting that fire, and finding that inspiration to start, reach out and lets make a plan to change that!

Let the fire within burn brighter, and find the TrueYou!

Introduction to TrueYou

Welcome to TrueYou!


I believe that human beings are incredible! Within each individual reside hidden talents, passions, and dreams that can change their lives, and the lives of those around them, for the better. The unfortunate truth is, the majority of us never realize our potential. In fact, many people have not even identified their true passion, or worse, have identified their passion and feel that they are simply unable to follow their dreams. I know this because I spent most of my life up to this point not knowing what I really wanted to do with my life, and lacked the self-confidence to invest time and energy in myself. Through the support of my beautiful wife, and the invigorating words of greatly successful people, I was able to find the fire within me.

My goal with TrueYou is to inspire, encourage, and uplift you. You are strong, you have worth, you have great potential! Let us make this journey together. Let us identify and develop the TrueYou. Through your participation in this blog, reading and commenting, I believe you will find just what you need to meet the challenge of life with renewed energy, focus, and confidence in yourself!